What I Mean By Self Sufficient

by Dairanys Grullon Virgil 

Due to a series of events in my life I wake up a morning crying. YES! Crying. This is not the first time that I wake up like this, but this is the first time I decide to publicly share my thoughts because I’m pretty sure that as I feel others self identify women felt this before.

One of the words that got stock to me while I was crying was SELF Sufficient. I look it up in the internet and this is the definition: Emotionally and intellectually independent. In my personal opinion someone with these qualities is something positive and admirable. It is not an easy thing or almost impossible to not constantly depend on others people emotional support.

The society in which we leave we are a constant search of approval to the point that we constantly feed from our family members compliments, how great it feels when your boss is telling you OMG! You doing an amazing job ( but inside you most likely OMG! I didn’t do anything, or when our partners or significant other tell us WOW! I’m so proud of you. All of these compliments and admiration from people in your like is healthy and necessary. However, is not the case that we have those thoughts about ourselves before someone else comes and tell us. We look first into the world’s approval and then MAYBE then we come to accept ourselves.

Ok! So why am I giving this blog all this runs around about accepting who we are and world’s approval. Well! Is because as young woman I have identify myself as a self sufficient, meaning that I am proud and in approval of myself with all my all ups and downs. The hard side to this wonderful experience is that I a woman who identify herself as self sufficient that outside world will always question her to the point that she might become a believer that she is not longer self sufficient and there most be something wrong with her.

The F*Ck part of all this is that the NORM expect women to rely on someone else to be sufficient. What do I mean by this statement, for example: We are expected to be marry at a certain age and with kids (If you are not you either Solterona (single) or you don’t like men). In the work place if a woman is assertive and direct in respect to her work she is considered a B**ch. One of the biggest crimes TRAVELING ALONE, it happen to me that while traveling alone I was asked question why are you going by yourself? Don’t you have someone to go with?. When I woman is an a partnership or relationship (which ever word is best) if a woman makes a decision on herself without including her partner not because she does not want to but because her partner is there to support her not to chose for her, we will get question such as why you didn’t ask your boyfriend? Is he ok with the decision you making.

In happy and realistic note this is not about not needing people in our lives. Is about realizing at least in my perspective that family members, friends, partners, etc are not there to fulfill our needs, but instead to COMPLIMENT US, to love us and support just as we are with the a question mark at the end of every sentence. As woman that identify herself as SELF SUFFICIENT is not saying I don’t need not body, what she is saying come and be part of my life as compliment to make a better human being that what I’m already I’m.